In home boudoir photo sessions: How to make your familiar space photo shoot ready

A boudoir photo session is no longer relegated to the bedroom. Yes, the very word “boudoir” means woman’s private quarters but the essence of the shoot can be recreated almost anywhere. Usually bookings happen in 3 places. If you are hiring a photography company a studio may be where it takes place. If you are working with a sole photographer they may book a hotel or airbnb type setting. Though sometimes a boudoir photo session can take place in the most familiar setting for you, your home. Many clients may choose their home over another location for a couple reasons.In this quick blog post we will expose some of the truths on why your home is the perfect place and also give you some tips to help you get it ready for your session.

1) Comfort and familiarity

Clients may have some anxiety when it comes to traveling to a new space, especially with making photos that are more intimate in nature. Your home comes equipped with mostly everything that makes you feel safe and calm.

2) Options

Big or small, apartment or house, your home probably has more nooks and crannies to make beautiful images than you think. Photo studios or Airbnbs only afford one static location and look. This is the part where you trust your photographer’s eye to help guide you in this journey. Your space may have a bit more character than you think. It does not take much to dress up a space or make it more interesting than what you see daily. It’s the job of the photographer to help you realize that.

3) Budget (and that’s okay!)

Luxury hotel rooms are expensive! Studios are expensive! No sugar coating here. Someone who is watching their budget may opt for their home but can still have that “luxury” experience.

4) Give yourself a reason to clean

Are you ever aware of how you feel when your home is dirty? I know I thought we were talking boudoir, and we are, but this plays a big role in getting photo shoot ready. The cleaner your space the more confident you’ll feel about being in it. Try it. Pick up those socks. Hang that art you’ve been wanting to put up. Put away those clothes that are in the clean pile. Look at that! You have a floor!

5) Minimize the negative distractions

There are certain items in everyone’s household that will always detract for your photos. Remember photographers want your photos to emphasize you and not anything else. Small items such as clocks, small radios, waste baskets, personal photo frames, surge protectors, animal toys, human toys can be so distracting but easily put away until after the shoot. Even in the most “clean” houses I have had to do a quick spot check of these things before a shoot. Trust me, you do not think of these things until that Sony clock radio is beaming the time next to your elbow in a photo.

The first couple shots of these series were hampered by a clock radio in the corner left of this image on the night table. It was quickly banished so your eyes wouldn’t see digital numbers, just gorgeous human.

6) It’s all about the fabrics

You don’t have to purchase those 400 dollar Boll and Branch sheets to make your bed look fancy. Though, kudos to Boll and Branch sheets. They are comfy. A simple white comforter makes all the difference. Again, we want the focus to be on you so the more distracting the worse. You can even head to JoAnn Fabrics and pick up 3 yards of tulle in any color to dress up your bed. It looks great on camera and can be used in so many ways. I’ve even seen a woven hammock used to wrap someone’s bodice in. Your photographer can help you with the creative edge but remember, if it’s sheer and fabric, it’s going to work.

7) Windows are the eyes to the…lingerie?

If you feel like your house, apartment, pad just isn’t photogenic enough don’t worry. Most everyone I know owns a window, except if maybe you live Manhattan. Those are luxury. Windows though offer some great tricks. Remember that talk about sheer fabrics? This extends to curtains as well and if they aren’t blackout curtains they will do wonderful job diffusing light around you. Photographers have this phrase. It’s called “blowing out the highlights.” We won’t get technical here but it simply means overexposing(making brighter) the background so it looks pure white. This will give any space a glow and bath you in gorgeous light. This will essentially work at any time of day as well.

That’s a sliding glass door behind her!

8) Mirror mirror on the wall…

I am a huge fan of mirrors. Why? They double the space you’re in and also double you. Again, as I hammer this home. Boudoir is about you! So why not more of you? A simple mirror, big or small maximizes the artistic aspects of your shot. There really is countless ways you can angle it to create more of lovely you. You don’t need some large space to do this in either. Try focusing on different body parts or fogging it up by breathing on it for a very cool effect.

9) Boudoir just isn’t about the bedroom…

The essence of boudoir is intimate but the bedroom isn’t the only space you can have your session is. Almost any bathroom can have potential if it has some window light. Sorry New Yorkers. Kudos if you have a sheer shower curtain or frosted glass doors to your shower. Don’t have a window in the bathroom? You can still join the party New Yorkers. Candles work great. Here are a couple tips though. First, be careful. Fire can happen quickly. Place them away from anything flammable. Also, pro tip. Place them at body or eye level. When people have light coming from below or the floor it tends to make them look scary, like something out of a horror movie. But that also could be fun.

10) Boudoir just isn’t about the bedroom continued…

If you have access to your backyard or hey, a backyard, then environmental boudoir can be so fun. Give some green to your images or frolick out in the snow(yes it has happened). Those hedges you have bordering your house? Yep, they can be beautiful. That’s the magic of light. It makes something seemingly humdrum so beautiful. Just make sure your neighbors are okay with it. Who am I kidding? They will be.

11) Your entire wardrobe(and possibly your partner’s) is at your disposal

I never condone people buying clothing specifically for boudoir. It’s important you feel comfortable in what you’re wearing(or not wearing) and new pieces may just take some time to get used to. It’s best to work with the photographer to see what is flattering on you. Luckily you have your entire wardrobe with you. No packing a duffel bag and lugging it to the space along with shoes, jewelry etc. You’ll have options right at your disposal. Remember, it doesn’t need to be complicated. A white t-shirt can go a lot farther than you think.

Okay a black t-shirt. A black Ramones t-shirt.

12) These are strange times

Yes, as I write this we are still experiencing a pandemic. This comes with its own set of issues. Photographers have had to navigate a brave new world with social distancing, constantly fogging up viewfinders and limiting their teams to just the bare essentials to keep their clients safe. Your home may just be the best place to have your boudoir session. No traveling to funky places where you simply can’t verify the cleanliness or cleaning practices. Do you remember those “stay at home” orders last spring? Stay at home boudoir seems very reasonable to us now.

Your home affords you more flexibility than you think. When you go to schedule your session keep this list handy so you know what to expect when doing something in your personal living space. It may just surprise you. Boudoir is for everyone. Boudoir can be for any location you choose it to be.

To consider a boudoir package for you visit here.

Still have questions? Don’t hesitate to send me a note.

Don't schedule a boudoir session until you read this.

boudoir (/ˈbuːdwɑːr/; French: [bu.dwaʁ]) is a woman's private sitting room or salon in a furnished accommodation usually between the dining room and the bedroom, but can also refer to a woman's private bedroom. The term derives from the French verb bouder to sulk or pout, or boudeur sulk or sulking, and originally was a room for sulking in, to put away or withdraw to.

Yes, a literal definition of the word boudoir. It's a lady's bedroom. Or a sulking woman. This blog post is about photographing a woman sulking in her bedroom. Thanks for listening folks, goodnight.

Just kidding. Well, sorta.

Boudoir photography, in its most basic definition and form, is somewhat intimate, personal photographs that an individual (usually but not always a female) has created to give to a significant other as a gift of sorts. Boudoir has become a bit of a niche genre that is marketed to brides-to-be that want to give their groom a special sexy present before their wedding night. Well, this is from my hours of researching people who shoot boudoir, so it's not exactly scientific, but it usually goes like this. It's called boudoir photography because it is usually set in the bedroom of the woman a photographer is shooting. Now I am not going to play with pronouns too much while writing this blog but I'll be clear that it's mostly marketed towards people that identify as female. There are guys who request boudoir, but honestly it's been lambasted as tongue and cheek and silly. I have yet to receive a boudoir inquiry from a guy that feels confident in his sexuality and body. Please guys, give me a call. It almost sounds as if I'm asking for a date there. I'm not. I just love to have variations in my clients.

Let's build some universal truths as to what I feel boudoir should be. Let's take the significant other out of the equation. I get it, it's a great gift, and I've totally marketed it that way in the past. Yes, your significant other would probably love to see you in various states of undress, well lit and beautiful, but let's talk about you.

I don't want to make the blanket statement that posing in the buff or near buff is the most empowering thing someone can do. It's not. There are many forms of empowering actions. I feel like this happens to just be one of them. Again, we are focused on the self at the moment. A boudoir session doesn't have to be for anyone but yourself. There's something primal, slightly narcissistic (I say that in the best way possible, even though I don't believe in healthy narcissism but that's another story for another therapy couch) and possibly emboldening about displaying the human form. I'm kicking myself as I type this because I had a pretty good statement that was something to the effect of:

Everyone has a little bit of self appreciation in their rear view mirror. Everyone. And it's okay from time to time to look back at it and make sure it's still there. When we look good, we feel good. Like right now, I look like a disheveled mess that lost four paragraphs of this blog to the internet gods. I don't feel the best. But when I've taken care of myself, eaten healthily, brushed my hair, I feel better. Especially with my body.

Anyway, maybe you've gotten your body to a point you feel proud of. Maybe you have overcome a difficult experience in life and want to show off. Maybe you just love yourself and want to embrace the beautiful perfect and imperfect sides of you. And yes, maybe you have a significant other that wants to see a more primal, sensual part of you through photographs.

It's okay to love the way you look, to get more in tune with how you feel. It's our job as a creative and photographer to help you with that image. Boudoir isn't the vision of the photographer. It's your vision on how you can see yourself in a flattering way. We just help with that vision. So if people are showing up to photograph you with the intent of institutionally contrived sex appeal, they really aren't giving you a service. They are taking your picture. Which is pretty self-centered.

I firmly believe shoots like this are successful with a couple key ingredients :

1) Trust and comfort:

You're trusting someone else to portray you in an intimate fashion. Your comfort follows. Not just your comfort with me, comfort with yourself. Boudoir clients who can become an actor, or play a part, or go to a special place in their heads, often have the most successful shoots. This has absolutely nothing to do with posing, too. My poses aren't going to make you look better. Your attitude is going to define that. I get to know my clients on a more human level. I want to know their comforts, their fears, their funny stories, their sad stories, their favorite music, their favorite candy bar. When they talk about these things, you can see their eyes light up and it's amazing.

What I find most important to bring into a session is humor; humor more than anything.
If you don't know this about me, I spent a good deal of my entire adult life working in mental health. I worked with very sick individuals. They didn't have many great moments in their life thus far to subscribe to, so I actively participated in trying to find something that would make them laugh. Coping skills for the mentally ill and coping skills for the non-mentally ill are pretty much the same. Humor is a pretty great equalizer. Countless studies show that when you are laughing, your heart rate lowers, as does your blood pressure, and your brain and body create all those lovely neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine to make you feel a whole lot better. In boudoir sessions, this is a must! You're more likely to be yourself or someone else if you're rolling on the floor laughing between takes.

2) Hair and makeup: “I can do the makeup myself” I’ve heard that one before and I simply have to disagree with that when considering boudoir. You are investing in a pampered experience. Do not give yourself more headaches by rushing to do that yourself. You’re great at makeup you say? I believe you completely but even makeup artists love getting their face done from time to time. I firmly believe makeup and hair is as important as the photography itself. This is why all my packages include it. Why? It’s transformative and enhancing. A licensed cosmetologist or esthetician can help you see certain qualities you have but aren’t familiar with. If you want to take the route of transformation they will be able to help you realize this new persona. I’ve never had a client that was regretful that they had someone pampering them before the shoot. That is also a big portion of boudoir, pampering. You’re letting someone else take care of you. Isn’t that the point? “I can do my makeup myself

3) Wardrobe, everyone needs assistance.
I always want you to feel like you're in control of the situation. You're dictating the world, I'm just helping you walk through it. This is why it's so important we discuss wardrobe before the shoot. I don't want people going out and buying things they aren't used to wearing. Nor does the session have to be about specific clothing. Sometimes it's not even about clothing! (Ha ha ha, get it, boudoir, not about clothing.) Let’s face it there is a lot of lingerie out there. It’s complicated. What you grab off of amazon or Victoria’s Secret has to flatter you. I’ve had sessions where people go out and purchase something that “looks sexy” but in reality isn’t very flattering to their body type or personality. The more confident you feel in your undergarments the more confidence you will have in your images. This is vastly important. Don’t select these alone.

4) Attitude

It has to be about attitude. Your attitude. I cater to the mood with music that you've picked. (It makes me talk less, which is a good thing. You’ve made it this far, you can see I'm a talker. I'll never tell anyone to act a certain way. I shutter at the thought (not a spelling error, a pun!) of saying "act sexy."

A) That's inappropriate.
B) That's a perfect way to be awkward and do the opposite.
I want people to go to places they find happy in their mind. Think about times in your life that you felt totally free and happy. Maybe it’s with someone? Maybe it’s with yourself? Maybe that moment hasn’t happened yet but it’s a fantasy you have. This is the space to explore those feelings. They all show up on your facial expressions. Your mindset can be the sexiest part of a photo shoot like this. Now I find that empowering. It’s your fantasy, I’m only there to guide and document.

I decided to revisit this concept after a boudoir marathon weekend we held a week ago. Why? Boudoir isn’t that common. Not many photographers do it correctly and there is a general misunderstanding as to what it actually is. I loved each and every one of my clients and it’s also a reminder to teach me how to flatter all body types. I can’t say this enough, all body types are beautiful. I want people to be proud of themselves and knowing that I got them there is a wonderful feeling. If you follow this formula with some easy puzzle pieces I can assure you that you will have images you will have forever. You’ll look back on them years from now and be proud. I really think that’s something worth investing in.

If this has peaked your interest or you would like to know more about the boudoir packages I have available, please click on booking on my website’s menu. I would be happy to answer all your questions.

Thank you!

-Mike

The argument for always second shooting

     I shot my first wedding almost ten years ago, thanks Facebook memories. It almost feels like an alternate reality. The pictures are still safe on a hard drive somewhere in my cabinet but if I looked at them now I'd probably have a word with my younger self. That's a good thing. I would hope in ten years for some substantial growth. Though I feel like I've always been confident at whatever level I've been at in photography, I was definitely an infant when it came to weddings. As I type this I already have the urge to write another much needed blog post on what it takes to be a wedding photographer. More on that much later. Trust me kids, it takes a lot more than most people are willing to give. 

Already off topic, good job Mike. My point is, I've had a decade to reflect on the experiences I've garnered shooting weddings. It's night and day about how I feel about the subject now. It's night and day about how I photograph the subject now. Again, I would hope so. Ten years in something with no growth would be an awful waste of time. I try to look back and figure out what has been the biggest catalyst in my growth. Could it have been education? Gear? Willingness for pain and frustration? I'm sure it's a combination of these things but I'd like to add one more log to the pyre.

     There is something that really didn't become apparent to me until about two years ago. Better late than never Mike. Oddly enough, I feel like second shooting a wedding has been one of the greater assets in helping me understand wedding photography. This is where a lot of you stop reading. Wait, hold on, don't worry! If you don't know what second shooting a wedding is I'm here to explain it in great detail!

Generally, when folks hire a photographer for a mid to large size wedding they aren't just hiring one photographer. It becomes a mathematical uncertainty if one person is tasked with covering ten or twelve hour day. Sometimes it's just downright evil. With so much weight placed on covering the day appropriately it can be daunting to think that one person could capture every lovely moment correctly. Some people do but they are in need of a good therapist. I kid, no I don't.

So yes, a photographer that is hired for a large wedding generally employs a "second shooter", "assistant photographer", "minor photographer", "photography intern" as someone to help supplement the  coverage of this important day. With words like "intern" and "assistant" sometimes one would think the second photographer isn't as good or has a lot less experience than the lead photographer. This might be true but that's not always the case. I've personally hired second shooters that were better than me. See, the moniker of a second shooter doesn't necessarily equate to experience or talent, it's a role. It's a specific role that sometimes entails a lot more than just getting supplementary coverage like the groomsmen, details, alternate viewpoints. It's an insurance policy. People do make mistakes and lead photographers are still not immune. I have to say this though, you don't know a wedding fully until you've shot it as the main photographer and as the second shooter.  I feel that not always being in the driver's seat can make you a better photographer overall.  

I must be honest. A lot of this post has been influenced by the second shooting work I've personally been doing for the past year with Pivko Photo. I probably should have opened this blog post with some touching personal allegory about my experience. Maybe I will, as this is my first draft of the blog. Jon, of Pivko Photo, is a successful and wonderful photographer in the Tri-State area of New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Strangely enough, I have known Jon since I was a small child. He grew up just down the street from me. That is where most of the cute coincidences end. We weren't particularly friendly as children, never kept in touch through high school or even college and passed most of our 20's in pretty significant isolation from each other. I don't mean to make that more dramatic than it sounds. We were just two people living our lives with no real reason to cross paths. That is until I found out he needed a second shooter for one of his wedding gigs. I travel to New Jersey almost monthly from North Carolina as I still have friends and my family living in that area. His business model almost always includes the need for two photographers at a wedding so I jumped at the chance to see another working photographer in their element. I guess you could say we've developed a working relationship that makes up for all the time we never said "hello" in the highs school hallway. I am thankful for that.

     It's been eye opening to say the least and a big reason why I think this blog post should be consumed by the seasoned photographer. I hope you find some of these thoughts on second shooting beneficial to your brand and continued education.

1) It keeps you humble. 

No matter how amazing you might be at your craft there will always be someone better. For every great image you create, trust me, there is someone that is hungrier and more determined than you. Try being a guitarist in New York City. You'll see what I mean. It's alright to not always have top billing on something.

2) It strengthens your communication and business relationship skills.

Generally when you tackle a wedding you're a team. You're not a photographer existing in a silo alone. In addition to another photographer you are also probably working with a videographer team. There is no room for ego. You all want to collaborate to create the best possible product for the client, in turn, giving you the best possible product for your business.

3) It's less stressful(slightly and sometimes).

Before I get some strongly worded emails, all wedding photography is stressful but again, we are talking about specific roles here. As a lead photographer your focus is generally the bride, the groom and the bride, and the bride, and the bride. Get it? A second shooter has slightly more control over what they can focus on. You don't necessarily have to run the show. Though, you're pretty integral on how that show is carried out you can float as needed to certain areas of the day that may need more attention. Also, when it comes time to being finished with the event you generally don't have to edit an entire wedding. Just hand over your cards and let the lead photographer slave away for a couple months. Hi Jon. You can select the images you've shot and use them for your personal portfolio(per agreement of the main photographer).  If you took the photo, you can usually use it for marketing.

4) You get some insight into how others run their photography business.

This is a big one for me especially. I certainly have a method to shooting weddings as a main photographer but I've learned through second shooting that what I do is FAR from the gold standard. In fact I've learned a lot of what I do is completely wrong, HA HA. Lead photographers will definitely have a method to their wedding photography. Sometimes it works and sometimes it may not. Hey, nobody is perfect but the insights gained into time management, how a photographer interacts with the client and overall mood of the shoot are invaluable to you.

5) It can be easier than booking weddings yourself.

Sure the financial payout is far less than a first shooter but the need for reliable second shooters is always present. Do you have slower months in the fall and winter? Think about making some additional income with second shooting. A couple gigs a month can be a life support to newer businesses or ones that need that fancy new mirrorless camera to add to their arsenal. Just kidding, boo Sony mirrorless. No, I'm not, they are great if that's what you need. 

6) Networking

I feel like in this industry friends are way better than enemies. If you are a reliable, personable human, people remember that. Always cast a wide net with the right people in your industry. You'll allow yourself free marketing when you fulfill these duties. I've personally booked weddings from second shooting other weddings. Make a positive splash with the people you work with and the people you service. Remember, don't be a hermit. 

7) It's actually sorta fun.

Yes, actually, sorta, I know these words don't define my confidence in the statement but it can be. Because a lot of the day is not entirely on your shoulders you have time to think about shots you wouldn't necessarily do on your own. Seriously, a certain switch turns off in my brain when I second shoot. I mean, in a good way. It's as if someone pushed the "not so stressed" button instead of the "Oh my god this day is resting on my shoulders" button. 

Yes, I have now convinced myself to write a complimentary blog post about what it takes to actually be a wedding photographer and high up on that list will definitely be, second shooting. Anyone trying to break into wedding photography must second shoot or assist a wedding before taking one on themselves as the main photographer. There is just too much at stake on this day. If you're jumping into wedding photography and choose a large wedding as your first gig, you're going to have a bad time. Trust me. Being a second shooter allows you to see how the day unfolds. It gives you such perspective on what goes right and wrong during a wedding shoot. Make sure you get comfortable with the stresses of the day because there will be many. It's a great way of identifying if this type of photography is right for you. Any questions, comments, concerns, please feel free to send me a note. I love a good discussion. Oh, and of course, what good is a photographer's blog without some pictures!? Here are a few selections from this seasoned, second shooter. Enjoy!